How To Avoid Arguments With Your Partner After Work

Have you ever thought about why the evening is such a difficult time for you and your partner? Have you ever considered why communication is challenging, or even non existent. Our genetic inheritance may hold the answer.

For thousands of years men would get together every evening and sit around the fire. Their work was done for the day. The hunt was successful, they were well fed as were their partner and offspring. They would stare into the fire with the other men without the need to say a word, and in doing so they relaxed and prepared themselves for the next day’s hunting. These days men fire gaze by sitting and watching the TV, reading the newspaper or playing on a games machine. What about women?

When a woman sees her partner after work she wants to discuss her day. This is her way of relieving stress. Because a man wants to sit quietly he may see this chatter as an inconvenience, and so slips into problem solving mode. He figures the quicker he can solve his partners’ problems the quicker he can get back to his fire gazing. The point he is failing to understand is that his partner doesn’t need ‘fixing’, she just wants to be listened to and empathised with.

So how do you get around this? The important thing for women to remember is that when a man gets home from work he needs time to get situated and he also needs quiet time during the evening. For men the important thing to understand is that women need time to talk through their day to relieve stress. Pay attention, empathise, listen and avoid trying to solve the problem because 9 times out of 10 there isn’t one.  Have a great evening!