Of course, it’s important to say “no” when necessary, in order to protect our boundaries and maintain one’s own priorities. Below are seven ways to say “no” effectively.

For example, if your friend asks to borrow your car, and you’re uncomfortable with the idea, you can either be direct and say “no”, or you can use any of the following, assertive yet diplomatic expressions to draw the line:

“I prefer to be the only one driving my car.“

After a routine stop for using her cell phone while driving, Amanda drove off  and eluded the cops in Los Angeles. While she did turn herself in later that  day, she sure gave them a scare. What motived the young actress to do so?

Some research indicates that people behave in a positive manner hoping it will earn them a credit of sorts to behave badly later, or as one article puts it, a ‘license to sin’.

To date Amanda Bynes has supported charities such as The Coalition of Skin  diseases, The Heart Truth, and YouthAIDS. Did Bynes participate in this charity  because she truly cares for the causes, or was she hoping to generate ‘moral  credit’? One psychologist, Nina Mazar of the University of  Toronto, posits the following:

“Sometimes after we behave in line with our goals or standards, it’s as if our  action has earned ourselves some moral credit,” “This credit can then  subsequently be used to engage in self-indulgent or selfish behaviors without  feeling bad about it.”

Many Hollywood celebrities try to skip out on the police or talk their way out  of an arrest by using their celebrity status or bringing up their extensive  charity. Actress Natasha Lyonne from the movie American  Pie tried to convince the police not to arrest her when she was stopped for  a DUI in Miami Beach in 2001.

So what do you think? Could there be some truth to this ‘moral credit’, at least in regards to the supposed humanitarian celebs out there that have taken their chances with the law?

Belky Perez Schwartz, The Examiner

So it’s no wonder that psychological scientists have been studying willpower for decades, trying to figure out who is disciplined under what circumstances — and why. What exactly is going on in the mind’s cognitive machinery — and the brain’s neurons — when we successfully summon our will — or when we say, oh the hell with it?

One of the reigning theories of willpower is what’s called the energy model of self-control. According to this model, the brain is like a muscle, with a limited supply of strength, which can be depleted through exertion. Nobody is disciplined all the time; we all have lapses. And according to the energy model, these lapses occur when one act of self-control weakens our resolve, leaving us “fatigued” as we face another challenge. Many studies have demonstrated that an act of mental exertion can compromise subsequent acts of discipline. What’s more, proponents of this theory have reported evidence that the brain — again like a muscle — is fueled primarily by simple carbohydrates, like sugar, and that depleted willpower can be replenished simply by refueling.

This model of self-control has been tremendously influential, but not all scientists are convinced it’s the whole story. Northwestern University’s Daniel Molden is among the skeptics. He and a team of colleagues have been using new laboratory methods and novel experimental designs to reexamine the role of carbohydrate metabolism in self-discipline — and to offer a competing theory of how willpower plays out in the brain.

The scientists question several aspects of the energy model, beginning with the fundamental assertion that acts of self-control lower blood glucose levels. They suspected that this important finding might be the result of using imprecise blood glucose monitors, so they reran the basic experiment using state-of-the-art laboratory measures. They recruited volunteers, who fasted and rested before having their baseline blood glucose level measured. Some of the volunteers then completed a vigilance task requiring high self-control, while others did a task requiring little mental discipline. Afterward, all the volunteers gave blood samples for further analysis, and also performed another self-control challenge.

The results were intriguing. Volunteers who initially completed the mentally challenging task were in fact less persistent on the subsequent task. This is consistent with earlier work supporting the energy model. But — the more important finding — these volunteers did not show a drop in blood glucose, indicating that the act of willpower did not lead to increased carbohydrate metabolism, as the model predicts. Nor does it appear that low blood sugar can explain the subsequent lapse in mental power.

The energy model also predicts that consuming sugar will refuel self-control, by reversing the depletion of mental resources needed for discipline. Molden and colleagues reexamined this core idea in an imaginative way: As before, some of the volunteers performed a mentally depleting self-control task, and others did not. Then, some rinsed their mouths out with a solution of water and table sugar, spitting it out as they would with any mouthwash. Others rinsed with a solution that was sweetened with Equal, so it seemed just like a sugary drink but contained no fuel. Immediately after rinsing, all the volunteers attempted a second task requiring persistence and self-control.

The results again challenged the energy model. As reported in a forthcoming issue of the journal Psychological Science, those who rinsed with the artificially sweetened drink were much less persistent — consistent with the idea that self-control is mentally depleting. However, rinsing with the sugary solution appeared to restore the volunteers’ lost willpower — significantly more than rinsing with the artificially sweetened drink. The rinse is crucial here, and a departure from the original lab work: In the earlier experiments that led to the energy model, the volunteers had to actually ingest the sugar to get mentally replenished. But this study showed that merely rinsing with the sugary mouthwash had the same effect, restoring self-discipline. What’s more, it had this effect immediately. The experiment allowed no time to metabolize the sugar and make it into brain fuel.

So what’s happening here? If mental exertion is not depleting blood sugar, but is compromising subsequent self-discipline, then what’s the mechanism? And what’s restoring self-control, if not metabolized carbs? The scientists believe the mechanism is motivation. They believe that the mouth “senses” the carbohydrates in the mouthwash, and this sensation signals — likely through the brain’s dopamine system — the possibility that a reward is coming. Sensing that an energy boost is coming, the brain is motivated to put in extra effort. In short, the sugar motivates — rather than fuels — willpower.

The scientists ran two different versions of the rinsing experiment. One demonstrated the effect of the mouthwash on physical persistence; the other on cognitive persistence. But one important question remained unanswered: Is it possible that even rinsing one’s mouth with sugar might boost blood glucose — drawing out the body’s supplies? If so, this would revise — but support — the energy model of self-control. To address this, the scientists directly tested the effect of carbohydrate rinsing on blood glucose levels. They had a group of volunteers rinse repeatedly with a carbohydrate solution that was much stronger than the usual rinse — to make the standard of proof as rigorous as possible. Others drank the same concentrated solution. The results gave further support to the new motivational model of self-control. Blood glucose levels jumped in those who drank the sugary drink, but didn’t budge for those who rinsed.

All this may sound like inside-the-laboratory hair splitting, but it’s not. Understanding the nitty-gritty of how willpower works has wide-ranging social implications. If sugar and metabolism do play an important role in boosting self-control, educators would want to think about the kinds of cafeteria foods that might optimize discipline, productivity and learning in the classroom. And how should society deal with metabolic deficiencies, if in fact they pose greater challenges, for some, to success and well-being? Or alternatively, if lack of self-control is really a lack of motivation, rather than energy or ability, and motivation can be restored with something as simple as a mouthwash, this opens all sorts of possibilities for novel interventions in the future.

Source: Wray Herbert, Huffington Post

What are Night Terrors?

This bizarre sleep disorder goes by many names including: sleep terror disorder, pavor nocturnus, and DSM-IV AXIS I:307.46 (that would be the medical name). It shares similarities with Hallucinatory Sleep Disorder (HSD) yet many people go undiagnosed simply because they don’t understand what’s happening to them.

Not to be confused with bog standard nightmares or even sleep paralysis, night terrors involve waking up suddenly from  deep slow wave sleep about 15-60 minutes after dozing off. Victims may jump out of bed, experiencing extreme terror and a temporary inability to regain full consciousness. This is often accompanied by fearsome hallucinations which vary from person to person. In the past when I experienced night terrors it was always a giant spider that was either walking up the bed or hovering in the air before me.

This instigates the fight or flight response – an evolutionary instinct which helps us flee from emergency situations with a rush of adrenaline. The fear is intense, and the sufferer will often scream and shout and be highly motivated to get away. In this half-sleep state, they will not respond well to logical statements (“calm down, it’s just a dream”) and some people have no memory of the attack whatsoever.

Night Terrors: The Causes

Night terrors in children are the most common and yet we are not immune to this condition as adults. Research has identified some  specific causes such as:

• Physical or emotional stress
• Medications (including sedatives)
• Sleep deprivation
• Stimulants before bed
• Jet lag or time zone changes
• Drug abuse
• Sleeping somewhere new

According to the Night Terrors Resource Center, the longer you are in non-REM sleep before the terror strikes, the greater the fear. It is possible to provoke an episode in a sufferer by merely touching them while in deep, non-REM sleep. In fact, a  recent study found that in 81% of cases, physical contact and proximity of a sleeping partner or a pet on the bed was the  trigger for the already predisposed sufferers.

How to Stop Night Terrors

There are different schools of thought on the best way to stop night terrors in children and adults. Some recommend that you   hold and reassure the sufferer when they jump up screaming and shouting, which also prevents them from hurting themselves. However, they may be extremely paranoid and think you’re trying to harm them, so if this is their reaction, let them move about freely.

It’s also important to stay calm yourself. Don’t yell at them because this will make them more anxious and confused.  They will already be extremely confused from the sudden adrenaline rush and quite possibly be half-asleep, so be patient and try to  bring them back to reality with reassuring words.

Often, my hallucinations lasted no more than five seconds, yet seeing them appear so vividly in my bedroom left an imprint on my mind. It took some convincing before I would finally “wake up” and accept that there was never anything there.

In  severe cases, doctors prescribe anti-depressant drugs like Klonopin, Tofranil or Valium. However, there are  natural ways to prevent night terrors and  you should try them first. Specifically,  try the natural remedies St John’s Wort or L-Theanine.

If you or your child suffers from sleep terrors, you can try the following relaxation methods to prevent the build up of anxiety which often leads to the attack.

Unwind Before Sleep - Give your child  time to unwind at the end of a busy day before sending them to bed. Run them a warm bath, play peaceful music and snuggle up with a book before bed.

Cool Down - Make sure the bedroom is not overly hot in the summer, as this can exacerbate an episode. Leave the window open a crack and give them lightweight pajamas. Avoid PJs with feet.

Play Music - It helps to fall asleep to the sound of   soothing music, which aids the transition between each phase of sleep when the parasomnia occurs. I recommend Hemi Sync MetaMusic for kids or Brain Sync Meditation for adults. They create good mental imagery to relax your mind as you fall asleep.

Herbal Remedies – Take a Chamomile capsule an hour before bed. In chronic sufferers, it may take a week to see a reduction in night terrors  but this is a reliable herbal remedy that is  less habit-forming than prescription drugs.

Essential Oils - Scents are highly evocative so try a relaxing essential oil like Lavender to calm yourself and ensure the aroma sticks around until morning.

Be especially prepared for night terrors to recur in unusual circumstances such as sleeping while jet lagged or severely sleep deprived, or sleeping in a new location (either the bed has moved, or you’re in a different house altogether). Another way to reduce the stress that causes sleep terrors is to seek out counseling to release any negative anxieties that may be to blame. The night terrors may be linked to phobias or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) so dealing with the root of the anxiety is a good way to treat this condition that goes bump in the night.

Rebecca Turner, World Of Lucid Dreaming