Why Were Women Punished On The Ducking Stool?

British law once stated that women could be punished for nagging their partners. The device used for the punishment was called a ducking stool, which was a chair fixed to the end of a movable beam. Women found guilty of nagging their partners would be bound in the chair and ducked in the river. The number of times they were ducked in the river depended on the severity of the nagging. The last recorded use of the ducking stool was in England in 1809.

Although such punishments have long ceased to exist, nagging is still prevalent in modern society. But what actually is nagging and what is the psychological impact?

Nagging is usually a term used to describe a woman’s behaviour towards a man, although this is not always the case. Research has shown that women consider the use of nagging an essential tool in reminding their partners about what needs doing, sometimes for their own benefit. However, Men often see it as a threat to their male ego and so retreat further and further behind emotional barriers. This can lead to frustration for the person doing the nagging, and resentment for the person being nagged.

At first glance this can be viewed with some humour, but frustration can lead to relationship problems and in some cases the break up of families. So what can be done? In their book “Why Men Lie and Women Cry” Allan and Barbara Pease offer the following suggestions:

Tell your partner what is frustrating you. Agree to a timeframe for your requests. Stop repeating yourself. State your needs then stop and listen. Avoid “you” statements. State the solution or consequence if your partner doesn’t reconsider their thoughtless actions.

Do you nag your partner? Does your partner nag you? How do you feel it impacts on your relationship?