Anger displacement occurs when you direct your angry thoughts and feelings at someone or something that is safe or convenient, rather than the actual source of your anger. For example your boss gives you a hard time at work, but you say nothing and take it out on your partner when you get home. Not only is this bad for your relationships, but it is also ineffective when dealing with the angry feelings – the anger you feel at your boss is still there.
In time you may start to write a script for yourself that involves always displacing your anger, and this in turn can lead you to adopt a cynical and hostile view of your world. Anger turned inward can also lead to depressive disorders. So how can you deal with anger more effectively?
Dealing with Anger
The source: Think about what is making you feel angry and why it is you feel anger rather than a different emotion. Are you feeling threatened by the situation, or did you have unrealistic expectations to begin with?
Your reaction: Avoid reacting to provocation by showing indifference to the source. Don’t feel the need to justify yourself. Instead remain calm and detached. Try to address the situation assertively instead.
Remember to breath: During angry ‘fight or flight’ situations your breathing may become shallow. This can impact on your ability to remain calm, rationalise and problem solve effectively. Breath deeply in and out through your nose.
Expressing yourself: Try to express yourself in a calm and level way the moment you start to feel angry. Don’t suppress the feelings so they build up. Remember to breath slowly and think “conversation not confrontation”. Try to be assertive rather than aggressive.
Behaviour: Smile, laugh. Visualise yourself letting go of the anger. Try to avoid thinking about the situation over and over again as this will just fuel your angry feelings. Distract yourself by thinking about something more pleasant. Use coping strategies to help you deal with stress and anxiety. Learn how to be more mindful of unhelpful thoughts.
What makes you angry? How do you deal with your anger? If you enjoyed reading this post, and you think others may benefit from reading it, why not email it to a friend or share it on Facebook or Twitter. Thank you!
Furthermore, if this has resonated with you and you feel you would benefit from discussing it in a therapeutic setting, contact us now in strict confidence. Don’t miss out on this opportunity! We are here to help.
About The Author
Steven Lucas MBACP MNCS (Prof Accred) is a professional counselling psychotherapist working in Northamptonshire. Read Full Bio.
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Disclaimer: I am not a doctor so this guide should not be considered a replacement for seeking medical advice. It is also not a substitute for obtaining therapy as other factors, such as trauma, need to be considered. There are pay per click ads on this site for which I may receive a small commission. This helps to pay for the running of the site. I do not endorse any of the products advertised.